Reaching Outward

I need reminders.  Often. 

Twice this week I was reminded of reaching outward when things seem to be amiss inward.  It’s easy to get caught up in personal “mountains”, big or small, and then before you know it they are magnified to the point that you are frozen.  You become consumed by them.  It’s what you think about day in and day out.  Your attitude changes.  You can’t see past your struggle.  You become stuck.

I’ve been in a self-described “funk” recently.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on exactly how to express it, but I just felt worn out and tired.  There were days I had trouble sleeping.  I would become emotional.

I kept saying it must be from the added pressure of my oldest son’s new allergy.  He is literally allergic to cold.  And with winter quickly approaching, I find myself at times uneasy; restless.  It’s exhausting to constantly check the indoor and outdoor temperature.  I have to consistently regulate his allergy medicine and also carry emergency equipment in the event of a severe reaction.  I have to remind him to dry off quickly and completely after a shower and to not delay in dressing, because recently he reacted with hives after bathing from the cooling of water droplets on his body.  I have to stress to him why he needs to wear those gloves and hat and jacket, even if no one else at the park is covered up.  We don’t shop long in the cold sections of grocery stores anymore, that is, if I even take him with me.  We only drive with the windows down if it’s above 70 degrees (otherwise he becomes itchy).  I have to remember to remind every adult or babysitter who may care for him that any injuries have to be treated specially, because being allergic to cold means being allergic to ice packs (it’s our instinct to put ice on an injury, no?).  And I cry sometimes when I watch the weather reports.  Especially if there is a chance of snow. 

So I have been reading God’s Word and praying and asking others to pray for me.  And then as soft as a whisper…

Crystal, it’s not about YOU.

The very moment I placed my eyes on me, I took my eyes off of Christ.

This week an email circulated through my homeschooling co-op group.  A person I have yet to meet has invited others to join in on making new winter hats to be donated to a local hospital.  These hats are for cancer patients who have lost their hair due to chemotherapy treatments.  These hats are to serve as warmth; to keep out the cold.  These hats are to ease just one of the many, many burdens that a cancer patient may face while living in a mid-Atlantic state where indeed the temperatures are beginning to drop off.

I jumped at the project for two reasons.  One, what a great cause!  Two, I love to craft; and this one looked easy and like something I could really do.  Mind you I have never knitted anything in my life, but for some reason I ran to the store to get supplies.  I even took the kids to help pick out yarn.  As I sat the other night knitting a soft, warm, winter hat I realized that this project is changing me.  Somehow, this project is warming me, too.  It’s helping the coldness in my heart to be refocused.  It’s helping me to finally put my finger on what has been the source of my “funk” lately. 

I am afraid of the cold.  In fact, to even think about my son suffering, I have somehow become terrified of the cold.  Literally terrified. 

And there is that whisper again. 

See, Crystal, it’s not about you.  But I understand and still love you.  And I’m here. 

One of the best remedies for being caught up in self-pity, is to reach out to others.  Take the time to pour out love on another in need.  Christ poured out His love so that the world could be redeemed.  Through Him, can’t we joyfully pour out His love to those around us?  Wouldn't that help us finally see past our own "mountains"?

This newly presented project is becoming a family affair.  My son is also now making a hat.  In his favorite color.  Together we are pushing out the cold.  Through continued prayer and by God’s grace, we are turning the very fears of our hearts into a practical outreach and pouring of His love on those in far, far greater need. 

Most importantly, we are remembering that it’s not about US.    

Which is so worth being reminded of. 

JOY Preserved

Joy.


That’s a word I have heard time and time again in the past few days.   It’s also a timely word in my life, because I can clearly see that today there are things trying to steal my joy.  It’s a very real battle and one that I cannot face alone.  Joy is not something that always comes easily.  It can be competed for.


Like when our family faces battle after battle and we’re tired.   Yet again, my heart is burdened as one of my children is diagnosed with a rare skin allergy.   It’s our first time trying to contemplate and sort through the possible scenarios.   It’s our first time training our children on how to use an epi-pen (and my first experience with fitting one into my purse).  After many recent trials, it’s a refresher course for this Momma on the truth that we do not control our children’s destinies and although we can certainly own our part in responsibility, we cannot control or stop bad things from happening to those we love.   Boil it down….WE are not in control.


And then pile on the daily responsibilities of laundry, house cleaning, meal prepping, instructing, child disciplining, school planning, etc, etc…and well, it’s easy to see why my joy can be robbed.  I’m tired.  My head is spinning and I want to go to bed.  I probably need sleep, but quite honestly I just want to curl up in my bed and pretend that everything is OK.  I want to “veg out” and watch TV all day, allowing my mind to escape.  I want the distractions in my mind to stop and for a moment just silence.  Just quiet.  And maybe a chocolate chip cookie.  Or ten.


But I don’t operate like that.   By God’s grace ALONE, I know there is hope.   I may not be able to see past the “fog” that I find myself in from time to time, but I know there is a Savior who does.   And He is walking with me through it, navigating every step of the way.   There are times when I battle with trying to navigate by myself, but all too often, I’m knocked back on my bottom and am reminded that it’s not my ship to sail.   There is so much freedom in allowing Jesus to be the wind in my sails.   Quite surely, without Him, my ship would sink.   Forever lost.


This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. (Nehemiah 8:10b)

The joy of the LORD is my strength!   And it can be yours, too!   It is God’s joy, but in His miraculous grace and mercy, He lavishes us with that same joy.   If we seek Him.   If we search for Jesus in the midst of our day-to-day struggles, we can still find joy.   It is a God-given gladness and it can be found when we are in a personal relationship with Him.   When we know Him.   When we strive to know Him more.   When we relinquish control and allow Him to not only steer our ship, but also to reveal more of Himself through that leading.   I’m not saying it’s easy, but I am saying it’s worth it.   Because, friends, that is where true JOY and STRENGTH come from.    They are in a relationship with Christ and they are lasting.


So yes, I believe it’s OK to cry.   It’s OK to get frustrated, flustered, and knocked down.   It’s these very emotions that remind us that we cannot do this alone.   We were not created to be self-sufficient.   We were created to bring glory and honor to the very One who made us in the first place.   It is He who loves deeply and desires to see us return to Him.   We may be tired, but we are NOT DEFEATED!   Christ died so that through Him, we may LIVE!


So where do I go when my joy is being robbed?  When I am tired?   When I feel circumstances or distractions are trying to steal my strength?   To my God; only finding renewed strength and joy when I fall to my knees and worship (I cannot create joy or lasting power, only He can).   I thank Him for loving me so much that He would send His Son to die in my place.   I thank Him for raising His Son so that I can know I, too, have hope in a resurrected life.   I tell Him my fears and my burdens and my hopes.   For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)


When I stumble, no one knows better than my Heavenly Father.   And, oh, how I need Him!   He will lift me and wipe away the tears.   He will set me back upright and remind me that He remains.   I stand in awe of His great power.   He knows the struggles of my heart before I even utter a word, yet I’m convinced that He still likes to hear me cry out to Him, imperfect babble and flounder as I may.   And He loves me.

Even if I do smell of a few chocolate chip cookies.

Movin' On Up

How do I see God working in our family?  If only I could count the many ways!

But one MAJOR way is in seeing the depth of love grown in my husband's heart.  Not only a love for his family, but a deepened love for his church and for others.  Wow.  It is a joy to see. 

Many years ago, my sweet hubby decided that he would serve with me in the nursery on Sunday mornings.  Not just one or two Sundays, but every Sunday.  Together we would take on the task of relaying Bible-based curriculum and sharing the hope and joy of Jesus to the sweetest and most precious of God's blessings...His children.

In those years, God has used this time to grow both he and I closer together in our marriage, closer to our children (of whom, we've been able to spend at least a year with each in class), and ultimately closer to HIM.  We have had both the privilege and honor to serve alongside many families that we may have otherwise never had the opportunity to.  We have come to enjoy the many personalities and just plain "fun-ness" (yes, I know that's not a real word) that come with each child who steps through the door.    

And yes, there were days we wondered why we only drink decaf.  And yes, there were days where we wondered when we might take a break.  And yes, there were days when we were grumpy...ok, more me than him, but just further proof I am still a work in progress  :)

It was time.  Time to step down.  Time to walk away.  Many asked, and we confirmed.  We needed to plug in elsewhere.  We needed to change up our routine.  Until last Sunday.

Because after weeks of seeing needs in the Children's Ministry and after last Sunday being approached to "help" maybe every now and then....my husband felt burdened.  He looked me in the eyes and I could see it.  That God-given passion for serving.  That God-honoring and God-planted seed of love....a great love for others.  And sure, you may say, "that's easy when you're talking about your church family"....but I also see it elsewhere, in the community, too.  Like when he pays for a strangers meal "just because" or he smiles and offers to assist someone, even if it means taking away from his scheduled "plan".

It makes me smile because it is NOT of me.  It is NOT of him.   It is ONLY OF CHRIST that either of us can serve and do so with joy.  Christ gave it ALL...may we follow Him in giving some. 

So with that burdened heart...it was not hard to see where my husband would be leading us next.  He felt just helping occasionally wasn't enough for us.  He felt we needed to do more.  Just as gladly as I followed him "out" of the Sunday morning nursery, I will choose to gladly follow him "back in" to the next hallway of Children's Ministry, the "Big Kid" hallway.  It was not what I expected.  But it is what I welcome.  (And seriously, it only takes one Sunday in these classes to know why we love it!)

Although we didn't see it coming (well at least so soon), we both know that our God is a God who equips.  We will continue to pray regularly that He will equip us for this next year; that we will constantly follow HIM.  We will pray that HE will be magnified and honored in this and in other areas that we may serve.  We will pray that He will bless those who walk through those doors each week and that through these children He will teach us ALL more about Himself.  We will pray that each heart comes to know Him fully. 

I can't seem to clear The Jeffersons theme song from my head.  "We're Movin' on Up"....and we're giving thanks.  So, so many things to be thankful for. 

Changing Perspective

Sometimes it’s not about where you are standing today, but about where God already knows you are going tomorrow. 

Like last August when I stood shocked (and quite frankly, aggravated) at the pediatrician’s office as the receptionist politely handed me back my new health insurance card and informed me that they don’t accept the new company.  What?!  Seven years I had been at that practice.  My children (and their seven years of medical records) would now have to transfer and start over.   The thought overwhelmed me.   I pouted.  I screamed inside.  I panicked. 

After turning to friends for recommendations, I ended up at another wonderful practice and after some time to cool down (or warm up to the thought, maybe), I reasoned that this was a good change.  I found a practice closer to my home.  I found a practice that offered many of the similar features of our old pediatrician.  Most importantly, I found a practice where the receptionist would not reject my insurance card.  In a day of age where having health insurance is a tremendous blessing, this was key for our family.  We needed to go where insurance would help cover.

Just months after the switch, our oldest son became quite ill.   The new pediatrician was running all of the tests he could, but with nothing showing, he needed to send us to a specialist.  This, of course, would take time.

Within the next few weeks, our son became even more lethargic.  He began losing weight.  He constantly felt awful.  His normal energetic personality was changing, but not for the better.  My husband and I felt we needed to try something, and we weren’t certain waiting until the specialist appointment would be helpful.  We prayed.  We asked others to pray with us.  We asked if God would reveal to us what was wrong with our little boy.  We prayed for wisdom.  We were seeking answers and hopeful for healing. 

Years prior at our OLD pediatrician’s office, I had inquired about a gluten-free diet (our daughter was having issues at that time and I tossed out the idea of maybe it being food-related).  To my embarrassment, the doctor completely shot down the idea, citing that going gluten-free would be “far more difficult and probably unnecessary in the long run.”  I left that day thinking nothing more on the issue. 

But our son’s symptoms now mimicked many of the same ones complained about with gluten intolerances…rashes, nausea, headaches, loss of appetite, weight loss, just to name a few of the nicer ones.  After a brief discussion, my husband and I decided that we would move forward with our own food challenge at home.  We felt that we were being led by our Great Physician, the One who truly knows, and we had peace about it. 

In the end, going gluten-free is what helped our son.  We continued to pray and praise God for the answers He was showing us!  We praised God for the many people He had already planted into our lives that were now walking with us and cheering us on (and for the many already gluten free families that breathed words of wisdom and encouragement into us; what a HUGE blessing!).   It was by no mistake that we had a circle already of people who knew what we were going through.  We praised God that our family was not another statistic of an average of five to seven years before knowing for sure (testing for gluten issues, particularly, are not always accurate, which often leads to more confusion for those suffering).  By the grace of God, our son suffered only 5 months before it was revealed to us what he needed.  This was, and still is, amazing to us.

After the food challenge, our son did grieve briefly.  Being old enough to know this meant a lifestyle change came with some sadness for him.  There were foods that would now have to be “off limits”.  I grieved with him.  For him, my heart was sad.  I didn’t want to see him hurting.   As a family, our whole kitchen and home had to be reconfigured.  As head chef, I was going to have to learn how to cook and prepare foods in a whole new way.  Food had become our enemy.  We were overwhelmed.  Really overwhelmed.  But I also remember very clearly clinging to God’s Word (what else could we do?!) and together reciting WITH GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE (Matthew 19:26).  We don’t know the why’s, but we can trust without a shadow of a doubt that God has bigger and better plans than we can ever imagine (Jeremiah 29:11).  God was in control and we needed to choose to trust in HIM and HIM alone.  After all, He had already brought us this far!

The good news is that going gluten free has not been as “difficult of a journey” as we were led to think a few years ago.  In fact, it has been far easier than what we ever could have imagined!  Based on my experience with the topic a few years back, I can only guess that our former pediatrician would not have been encouraging about the idea.  What I love is that God removed that burden and had already placed people in our lives that said, “You can do this.”  God knew what we needed, well before we even knew something was wrong.  He had laid the path.

I was aggravated and flustered when we unexpectedly had to make a pediatrician switch.  I was not unhappy with our former doctor and was honestly (a little too) comfortable there.   I didn’t see any reason for uprooting and starting over.  But God knew beyond that moment.  He knew where we were going.  He closed that door and opened a whole new one for us to walk through.  One, that we can see now, held less friction.  And it is only because of Him that we had faith to step through that open door.

More recently, we went back to the new pediatrician to fill him in on what was revealed to us and how we were game-changing on the food front.  This new doctor literally hugged us and with a huge smile on his face celebrated with our family that our son was beginning a road to healing.  He commented on how wonderful it was to see such drastic change so quickly and how grateful he was that it was something “simple” (quite a different word choice than our previous medical advisor, ehe?).  Come to find out, his own wife was gluten free (something that had never come up in prior conversations).  He proceeded to share with us some websites that his family found helpful.  Wow.  I never even entertained the thought that just maybe I could be unhappy with our old doctor.

Overwhelmed by God’s amazing mercy and grace…my heart definitely fluttered that day.   It was an affirmation for our family that God had had bigger plans for us; bigger than an aggravated Momma a few weeks prior…bigger than an office closer to our home…bigger than just a new insurance card.  We were reminded of God’s great love for us, and how He goes before us, walks with us, and remains with us after.   All glory to Him who led us to the very spot we needed to be!

We don’t always know the whys (which can be so difficult, particularly in trials), but we can trust that God is in complete control and that He holds purpose in our lives.  With Him, all things are possible.  And remember, for those who proclaim Christ as their King, God promises to continue a work in us until the day of Christ’s return (Phil 1:6).  Those works look different from person to person and from season to season, but we can always trust the One who delivers them. 

Are you aggravated with a situation you find yourself in today?  Is there some inconvenience or struggle that you have prayed would be lifted or made to vanish (and it’s not going away)?  Is there something that you are certain if it would just go away, things would be better?  Or maybe, like me, you find yourself annoyed at some unexpected glitch in your plans for the day.  Have you considered maybe that with God’s plan, things could be even better?

No matter where you are, take time to stop and thank God for His working in your life.  Thank Him for your many blessings, but also thank Him for allowing the annoyances.  They refine us, too.  Out of love, God is molding us to look more like Christ.  In the good or bad, don’t lose an opportunity to seek God’s face and see Him within your situation.  He orchestrates even the tiniest of details in our lives.  He is in perfect control.   

I am so very grateful that God sees things beyond what we can see.  Our sight is so extremely limited, but He knows all time…every moment passed and every moment to come.  I am also thankful that He knows what we need, even before we need it (and that He loves us far too much to give us merely what we want). 

This is why sometimes it’s not about where you are standing now, but about where God already knows you will be going.  That’s the encouragement I need to change my perspective on where I find myself standing today.  Today is easier to walk through when you fully trust who holds your tomorrow.

Father,

Please help me to fully trust in Your will for my life.  Thank you for the tremendous blessings and yet also thank you for the areas that cause me to squirm.  Thank you for being in control, for guiding me, and for reminding me that I can trust fully in where you lead.  Thank you for having the perfect vision that I will never possess.  I want to be fully rooted in Christ, growing in my faith, and I know that through these moments you are lovingly molding me.  Thank you for your great love, for your perfect Son, and for your desire to make me more in His image. 

To You be all the glory,

Amen

Worn Down

A little encouragement for those who feel “worn down” by circumstances….

“It’s always something,” I heard her exclaim.  “Sickness, trial, struggle…there is always something bringing me down!”  Have you ever uttered these words?  What about just thought them?  I know I have been guilty of expressing these sentiments…even if only silently.  And while I will not pretend to know the same pains and struggles that someone else is shouldering, I can say with complete honesty that our family is also not immune to trials. 

I look at today being April and I can’t honestly remember where January, February, and March went.  Since the beginning of 2013, our family has been experiencing one of those seasons; a steady trickle of “challenges” rolling our way.  Don’t mistake that we have also experienced daily tremendous and undeserved blessings, and to that I am so very grateful! All Praise to Him, who reminds us that He is still there and unchanging!  Since January, most recently, there have also been a steady rotation of circumstances that have in one way or another threatened our focus; attempting to derail us.  These things combined, if handled by our own strength alone, we’d be completely worn down!  There’s no way!

We all struggle at times.  We all have things thrown at us that we’d rather not deal with.  Sometimes they come in waves, one right after another, and we feel like we’re literally sinking (it makes me think of  Peter, who in his lack of faith, began sinking in the water right in front of Jesus).  Trials almost always come at unwelcomed times, right when you least expect it or when it’s least “convenient”.  In the majority of cases, we do not ask for trials, but do they have to be all bad when they happen? 

Trials are not fun, but God through His mercy has shown me that they can still have purpose.  Through trials, God is still working.  He is not absent or void in times of great stress.  In fact, He is all the more apparent during those times!  And blessings can and are still bountiful during trials….even if you don’t see them in the moment or find them right away.  God is good!  He is wise and faithful and stronger.  Trust Him!  It has been my experience that when our family is pressed, we see and feel Him all the more.  If only I would seek and cling to Him passionately every day, pressed or not!

No matter how much I feel pushed or pulled or twisted, I have never been put in prison or been held captive like Paul.  I have never been persecuted or tortured for my religious freedoms like the many missionaries or followers who have been.  I have never been unjustly tried, beaten, spit upon, and placed through unthinkable torture, my very life being taken, like our Savior was (who did so for ALL OF US, by the way, that we might be forgiven and granted eternal life).   I am beyond blessed, because of Christ, even when things are hard!

Taking the next right step, clinging to Christ, and calling out to Him for strength is absolutely worth every effort.  He will carry you and then through your struggles and by God’s grace alone, you can still somehow reflect His glory.  You will not regret asking for His help. 

Recently, we visited my parents to try to be of help and encouragement for my dad who has been experiencing a time of trial.  Through this, I found that my dad was actually just as much of a help and encouragement to me.  In excruciating physical pain (pain that, had it been me, would surely have had me belted over, screaming out loudly), his prayer rang loudly (though his actual voice was more softly spoken).  Barely able to even sit at the table (much less to eat or speak), he prayed aloud, “Thank you, God, for this day.  Thank you for all the blessings you have given us.  Help us to always be thankful for everything You give.  And please help us to come out on the other side stronger.”

Yes!  Lord, please help us to always be thankful, no matter what comes our way.  We live in a fallen world, one that You know cannot be our place of refuge.   But you gave us a place of cover, a place to run.  You gave us your SON.  You gave us a rock to cling to when we feel like we’re sinking.  You gave us Christ.  And through Him we can be stronger; because He is stronger!

Sometimes it’s one thing that takes your breath away and sometimes it’s a bunch of small things that add up to daily exhaustion or frustration.  No matter what you are going through, whether big, small, or anywhere in between, don’t run.  Don’t be afraid.  Don’t try to hide or escape.  He hears.  He knows.  He’s there!  (And I am reminded that if God knows the number of hairs on my head and the numbers of freckles on my skin…then He cares about even the smallest of details.  This gives me all the reason more to pray and seek Him in EVERYTHING; not only for just the big things). 

If you haven’t already, welcome God into your life and allow Christ to hold your hand.  We are not defeated when in Christ! (Need reassurance?  There are many passages in God’s Word, but a great one to start with is Romans 8…life through the spirit, present sufferings and future glory, and we are more than conquerors.) 

Cling to HIM.  Follow HIM.  Pray to HIM.  Call on HIM.  Cry to HIM.   Seek HIM.  Know HIM.   Trust HIM.  Have faith, knowing that He hears and He cares.  And just then, you may find that there are ways to be thankful, like my dad expressed recently, even in times of great pain (or aggravation or frustration or being worn down). 

God changes hearts.  All Praise to Him who changed my heart and allowed me to look at my daily battles differently! 

I may not like the fire, but God, through this heat you are molding me. 

Amen!

PS: I’ve been “chewing” on this blog entry for a few days and sure enough this week the strangest thing happened on the radio.  Third Day’s song “Mountain of God” came up two times in a row (with only a minor spoken break in between).  I am not in any way versed on the inner workings of radio broadcasting, but I would think that this was most likely a human error…something that was accidental.  As my kids and I sang along to this very song for the second time in a matter of minutes (which is a great song, by the way!), it occurred to me that I should tag the lyrics to my blog post. 

I don’t believe in coincidences and I don’t believe that the world is really that small.  I don’t know who will read this post or what battles are threatening to wear them down.  What I do believe is that God works within our lives and intertwines us however He sees best to bring Him the glory and honor He rightly deserves.  His will be done.  So with that being said, I figured that I (or perhaps someone who reads this) needed to hear these words ring through to be reminded of the very goodness that He is. 

Thank you Third Day for this song and thank you Father for allowing my family to hear it again (and again) this week!

Mountain of God (Performed by Third Day)

I thought that I was all alone,
broken and afraid,
but you were there with me,
you were there with me.
And I didn't even know
I had lost my way,
but you were there with me,
yes, you were there with me.
Until you opened up my eyes I never knew,
that I couldn't ever make it without you.

Chorus:
Even though the journey's long,
and I know the road is hard.
Well the one who's gone before me,
He will help me carry on.
And after all that I've been through,
now I realize the truth
that I must go through the valley
to stand upon the Mountain of God.

As I travel on the road,
you have led me down,
you are here with me,
yes, you are here with me.
And I have need for nothing more
Oh, now that I have found
that you are here with me,
yes, you are here with me.
I confess from time to time I lose my way,
but you are always there to bring me back again.

~chorus~

Bridge:
Sometimes I think of where it is I've come from,
And the things I've left behind.
Well, of all I've had,
what I possess,
nothing can quite compare,
with what's in front of me,
with what's in front of me.

Even though the journey's long,
and I know the road is hard,
well, the one who's gone before me,
He will help me carry on.
And after all that I've been through,
now I realize the truth
that I must go through the valley,
to stand upon the mountain. . .
well, I must go through the valley,
to stand upon the mountain. . .
yes, I must go through the valley,
to stand upon the mountain of God.

 

Update and Lessons Learned from the Dog

UPDATE:  Our loyal sidekick, “Sierra”, mentioned in the previous post died on March 8^th, 2013.  Tears were shed and our hearts were sad (and my lap has been a little colder in the evenings once the kids go to bed).  She lived a great life in our home and we truly enjoyed the time we were given with her.  She was spunky and loud and competitive, and at times troublesome to neighbors (or our ears), but she was also loving and loyal and consistent.  In memory of her, we have planted a Kousa Dogwood tree in our backyard (also called a “Wolf Eyes” according to the nursery).  Thank you, God, for all of the beautiful things You have given us.

Thinking back over thirteen years, did Sierra teach this old dog any new tricks?  I think maybe she did.  

Five Lessons Learned from the Dog:

1. Hospitality.  Everyone deserves the “Rockstar” greeting when they enter the door of my home.  No matter how many times you have been here, I would like to greet you with freshness as if I have never seen anything better.  Ok, true, I will not spin little circles, jump at your coattails, or pee on the floor, but I think it’s a worthy cause to wag my tail loudly.  Announced or unannounced, you should always be welcomed with pure joy.

2. Relaxing on the couch is not a bad thing.  I’m not condoning laziness, but is it such a bad thing to kick your feet up every now and then and just relax?  We all need down time.  A time of rest.  Add a blanket and now it’s luxurious! 

3. Loyalty is an honorable quality.  Faithful.  Trustworthy.  Reliable.  Dependable.  I will fail daily, because I am greatly flawed, but these are the qualities that I should strive for.  Would my family describe me by these words?  What about my friends? My co-workers?  Neighbors? 

4. We all need a master to lead us.  We all follow something.  Some follow the world; some follow man.  Some follow dreams or thoughts of what “could be”.  I was a flawed master for Sierra, even on a good day.  My husband was better, but even he was not perfect (sorry, my love).  Those synonyms above for Loyalty, though (see number 3), there is One Master who does possess those unfailingly.  When I fail, He doesn’t.  When I struggle, He leads me…and perfectly (even if I am unclear of where He is leading me).  When I stumble, He picks me up.  Thank you, Jesus, for being my Master.  There is NONE better.

5. Love with all you’ve got.  Because it’s transforming.  Love is mentioned hundreds of times in the Bible (literally!).  It existed before time and will continue until Jesus returns.  Do I love like Jesus does?  Unconditionally.  Fully.  With no expectation of payment.  Do I love those who don’t love me in return?  God, by His grace, rescued me when I was so far from ever returning love to Him.  He took my life and changed it and taught me how to love.  Even now I know I can never equal the love He has shown me.  The very least I can do is love with all I’ve got and maybe somehow reflect a tiny sliver of what He has already given. 

So…being hospitable, relaxing every now and then, striving to be more dependable, recognizing and giving thanks always for my master, loving more readily and unconditionally….is that what those “Wag More, Bark Less” stickers mean?  Probably not, but they sure have made me smile a lot more lately.    Right now, for whatever reason, wagging more just seems the right thing to do.  And that’s not a bad lesson. 

Stop and Smell the Flowers

Every time we pass the fresh floral section at Super Target, my six year old calls out, “Hey Mom!  Come smell the flowers!” I smile and nod, but if I’m being completely honest, I don’t usually stop.  Instead, I hurry my brood further down the aisle calling behind me, “Come on, guys.  It’s late.  We need to get home so I can…(fill in the blank).”  In truth, the fresh flowers are so close to the check-out lanes that with my cart filled to the brim with groceries and my head aching from the time it took to shop with three young children at my side, all I can do is think about getting fast to the nearest cashier.  Just a few more steps and then I can breathe.  Just a few more minutes and I can be back in the van, on my way back home.  Just a few more minutes and then contained peace.

Last week, our dog of nearly thirteen years was diagnosed with a terminal disease.  One in which we are literally seeing her slip away before us.  It took us by surprise; I mean we knew she was getting old, but we still didn’t see this coming.  And we didn’t expect the words, “just a little time left”.  But that is what our Veterinarian told us after examining her that day.  We have just days, weeks at best, to enjoy her.  Though we didn’t expect it to be so sudden, I found great joy in at least knowing and being able to enjoy some last time with her.  I played fetch at 10 pm on a Sunday evening, laughed instead of cringing when she drug dead grass in the house (all over her body from rolling in it), and I let her actually bark loudly at the laundry as I shuffled it from the washer to the dryer (she has always been strange like that…barking violently at the wet, soggy mass as if it were taunting her).  Basically, I was choosing to let this time be a treasure, no expectations or plans.  Just letting it be.  I was enjoying her more and I was enjoying myself more when I was with her.

Then something clicked.  What if I was taking time for granted in other areas of my life?  I don’t mean with just the dog, but most importantly with God, my family, my children.  Was I acting as if I was certain there would be a tomorrow?  Was I forgetting to stop and enjoy the little blessings in my every day?  It dawned on me that there might be days in which I was missing out on other areas of treasure in my life.  I had somehow gotten sucked in by the world’s agenda of just keep moving, more-things-to-do, don’t waste your time with the little tedious things.  Then I remembered, my time is not mine to waste.  My time has been given to me by a gracious and loving Father; and when I start to think about the fact that I could be wasting His time, well then my heart aches.   By rushing through my day, trying to get to the first available check out counter, I could be missing out on numerous opportunities to be fully rooted in Christ, and Christ alone.  I could be missing out on sweet moments and precious memories with my children.  I could be missing out on opportunities to reach outward to those around me, pointing them to the Savior I desire to follow, the Rock I cling to.  On these days, in these forgetful moments, I most definitely would be missing out on true peace.

With each new day come new mercies.  This week has been different.  We’ve crossed off far less on our homeschooling curriculum timeline, but in trade, we’ve spent more time together.  Today we took the day completely off of school and just let time be.  We made a point to enjoy the sunshine outside and the little things in our day; the kids running to greet the mailman with a smile, letting the boys build a “booby trap” with string in the backyard (what they’ll catch, one can only guess), running to and from soccer practice joyfully (instead of groaning because it is taking away from some read-aloud or catch-up Math time), moments to just enjoy doing what makes us smile.   I’ve found that this week there’s been more peace in my heart.  I’m grateful for all the things we’ve crossed off our to-do-list, but I’m not bothered by the things that we haven’t.  My eyes are turned upward, in thanksgiving, more than before.  I’m savoring even those littlest of moments.

We are not promised tomorrow.  We are not promised tonight even.  God has been more than gracious in His reminding me of that fact.  We don’t often get a notice…a reminder there’s “just a little time left”.   But that is what our time here on Earth is.  Just a little time.  (Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:14)  And if I am blessed enough to have my days numbered as many, it still will surely blur by.  I do not want to wake up one day and realize that I missed out on opportunities to worship wholly, to love rightly, to witness to others.  I do not want to feel the guilt of rushing through motherhood, skipping past the little things because quite frankly I’m too busy to stop what’s on my agenda for the day (ugh, how wicked and selfish that I would even cling to my agenda in the first place!).  I do not want to be deceived by the world’s view and waste any of the time that I have been given. 

As a family, we will plant a tree in memory of this lost dog that God placed in our family thirteen years ago; this loyal sidekick that God has used now to remind me of what’s most important in my life.  A seed has been planted in my heart.  One that is telling me not to squander my time, nor get so involved in everything else that I miss out on what He’s already placed before me. 

I’m being called and now I can’t just smile and nod.  It’s about time I actually stop to smell the flowers.