Joy.
That’s a word I have heard time and time again in the past few days. It’s also a timely word in my life, because I can clearly see that today there are things trying to steal my joy. It’s a very real battle and one that I cannot face alone. Joy is not something that always comes easily. It can be competed for.
Like when our family faces battle after battle and we’re tired. Yet again, my heart is burdened as one of my children is diagnosed with a rare skin allergy. It’s our first time trying to contemplate and sort through the possible scenarios. It’s our first time training our children on how to use an epi-pen (and my first experience with fitting one into my purse). After many recent trials, it’s a refresher course for this Momma on the truth that we do not control our children’s destinies and although we can certainly own our part in responsibility, we cannot control or stop bad things from happening to those we love. Boil it down….WE are not in control.
And then pile on the daily responsibilities of laundry, house cleaning, meal prepping, instructing, child disciplining, school planning, etc, etc…and well, it’s easy to see why my joy can be robbed. I’m tired. My head is spinning and I want to go to bed. I probably need sleep, but quite honestly I just want to curl up in my bed and pretend that everything is OK. I want to “veg out” and watch TV all day, allowing my mind to escape. I want the distractions in my mind to stop and for a moment just silence. Just quiet. And maybe a chocolate chip cookie. Or ten.
But I don’t operate like that. By God’s grace ALONE, I know there is hope. I may not be able to see past the “fog” that I find myself in from time to time, but I know there is a Savior who does. And He is walking with me through it, navigating every step of the way. There are times when I battle with trying to navigate by myself, but all too often, I’m knocked back on my bottom and am reminded that it’s not my ship to sail. There is so much freedom in allowing Jesus to be the wind in my sails. Quite surely, without Him, my ship would sink. Forever lost.
This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. (Nehemiah 8:10b)
The joy of the LORD is my strength! And it can be yours, too! It is God’s joy, but in His miraculous grace and mercy, He lavishes us with that same joy. If we seek Him. If we search for Jesus in the midst of our day-to-day struggles, we can still find joy. It is a God-given gladness and it can be found when we are in a personal relationship with Him. When we know Him. When we strive to know Him more. When we relinquish control and allow Him to not only steer our ship, but also to reveal more of Himself through that leading. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I am saying it’s worth it. Because, friends, that is where true JOY and STRENGTH come from. They are in a relationship with Christ and they are lasting.
So yes, I believe it’s OK to cry. It’s OK to get frustrated, flustered, and knocked down. It’s these very emotions that remind us that we cannot do this alone. We were not created to be self-sufficient. We were created to bring glory and honor to the very One who made us in the first place. It is He who loves deeply and desires to see us return to Him. We may be tired, but we are NOT DEFEATED! Christ died so that through Him, we may LIVE!
So where do I go when my joy is being robbed? When I am tired? When I feel circumstances or distractions are trying to steal my strength? To my God; only finding renewed strength and joy when I fall to my knees and worship (I cannot create joy or lasting power, only He can). I thank Him for loving me so much that He would send His Son to die in my place. I thank Him for raising His Son so that I can know I, too, have hope in a resurrected life. I tell Him my fears and my burdens and my hopes. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
When I stumble, no one knows better than my Heavenly Father. And, oh, how I need Him! He will lift me and wipe away the tears. He will set me back upright and remind me that He remains. I stand in awe of His great power. He knows the struggles of my heart before I even utter a word, yet I’m convinced that He still likes to hear me cry out to Him, imperfect babble and flounder as I may. And He loves me.
Even if I do smell of a few chocolate chip cookies.
