I need reminders. Often.
Twice this week I was reminded of reaching outward when things seem to be amiss
inward. It’s easy to get caught up in
personal “mountains”, big or small, and then before you know it they are
magnified to the point that you are frozen.
You become consumed by them. It’s
what you think about day in and day out.
Your attitude changes. You can’t
see past your struggle. You become
stuck.
I’ve been in a self-described “funk” recently. I couldn’t quite put my finger on exactly how
to express it, but I just felt worn out and tired. There were days I had trouble sleeping. I would become emotional.
I kept saying it must be from the added pressure of my
oldest son’s new allergy. He is
literally allergic to cold. And with
winter quickly approaching, I find myself at times uneasy; restless. It’s exhausting to constantly check the
indoor and outdoor temperature. I have
to consistently regulate his allergy medicine and also carry emergency
equipment in the event of a severe reaction.
I have to remind him to dry off quickly and completely after a shower
and to not delay in dressing, because recently he reacted with hives after
bathing from the cooling of water droplets on his body. I have to stress to him why he needs to wear
those gloves and hat and jacket, even if no one else at the park is covered
up. We don’t shop long in the cold
sections of grocery stores anymore, that is, if I even take him with me. We only drive with the windows down if it’s
above 70 degrees (otherwise he becomes itchy). I have to remember to remind every adult or
babysitter who may care for him that any injuries have to be treated specially,
because being allergic to cold means being allergic to ice packs (it’s our
instinct to put ice on an injury, no?). And
I cry sometimes when I watch the weather reports. Especially if there is a chance of snow.
So I have been reading God’s Word and praying and asking
others to pray for me. And then as soft
as a whisper…
Crystal, it’s not
about YOU.
The very moment I placed my eyes on me, I took my eyes off
of Christ.
This week an email circulated through my homeschooling co-op
group. A person I have yet to meet has
invited others to join in on making new winter hats to be donated to a local
hospital. These hats are for cancer
patients who have lost their hair due to chemotherapy treatments. These hats are to serve as warmth; to keep
out the cold. These hats are to ease just
one of the many, many burdens that a cancer patient may face while living in a
mid-Atlantic state where indeed the temperatures are beginning to drop off.
I jumped at the project for two reasons. One, what a great cause! Two, I love to craft; and this one looked
easy and like something I could really do.
Mind you I have never knitted anything in my life, but for some reason I
ran to the store to get supplies. I even
took the kids to help pick out yarn. As
I sat the other night knitting a soft, warm, winter hat I realized that this
project is changing me. Somehow, this
project is warming me, too. It’s helping
the coldness in my heart to be refocused.
It’s helping me to finally put my finger on what has been the source of
my “funk” lately.
I am afraid of the cold.
In fact, to even think about my son suffering, I have somehow become
terrified of the cold. Literally
terrified.
And there is that whisper again.
See, Crystal, it’s not
about you. But I understand and still
love you. And I’m here.
One of the best
remedies for being caught up in self-pity, is to reach out to others. Take the time to pour out love on another in
need. Christ poured out His love so that
the world could be redeemed. Through
Him, can’t we joyfully pour out His love to those around us? Wouldn't that help us finally see past our own "mountains"?
This newly presented project is becoming a family
affair. My son is also now making a
hat. In his favorite color. Together we are pushing out the cold. Through continued prayer and by God’s grace,
we are turning the very fears of our hearts into a practical outreach and
pouring of His love on those in far, far greater need.
Most importantly, we are remembering that it’s not about
US.
Which is so worth being reminded of.
