Every time we pass the fresh floral section at Super Target,
my six year old calls out, “Hey Mom!
Come smell the flowers!” I smile and nod, but if I’m being completely
honest, I don’t usually stop. Instead, I
hurry my brood further down the aisle calling behind me, “Come on, guys. It’s late.
We need to get home so I can…(fill in the blank).” In truth, the fresh flowers are so close to
the check-out lanes that with my cart filled to the brim with groceries and my
head aching from the time it took to shop with three young children at my side,
all I can do is think about getting fast to the nearest cashier. Just a few more steps and then I can
breathe. Just a few more minutes and I
can be back in the van, on my way back home.
Just a few more minutes and then contained peace.
Last week, our dog of nearly thirteen years was diagnosed
with a terminal disease. One in which we
are literally seeing her slip away before us.
It took us by surprise; I mean we knew she was getting old, but we still
didn’t see this coming. And we didn’t
expect the words, “just a little time left”.
But that is what our Veterinarian told us after examining her that day. We have just days, weeks at best, to enjoy
her. Though we didn’t expect it to be so
sudden, I found great joy in at least knowing and being able to enjoy some last
time with her. I played fetch at 10 pm
on a Sunday evening, laughed instead of cringing when she drug dead grass in
the house (all over her body from rolling in it), and I let her actually bark loudly
at the laundry as I shuffled it from the washer to the dryer (she has always
been strange like that…barking violently at the wet, soggy mass as if it were
taunting her). Basically, I was choosing
to let this time be a treasure, no expectations or plans. Just letting it be. I was enjoying her more and I was enjoying
myself more when I was with her.
Then something clicked.
What if I was taking time for granted in other areas of my life? I don’t mean with just the dog, but most
importantly with God, my family, my children.
Was I acting as if I was certain there would be a tomorrow? Was I forgetting to stop and enjoy the little
blessings in my every day? It dawned on
me that there might be days in which I was missing out on other areas of treasure
in my life. I had somehow gotten sucked
in by the world’s agenda of just keep moving, more-things-to-do, don’t waste
your time with the little tedious things.
Then I remembered, my time is not mine to waste. My time has been given to me by a gracious
and loving Father; and when I start to think about the fact that I could be
wasting His time, well then my heart
aches. By rushing through my day,
trying to get to the first available check out counter, I could be missing out
on numerous opportunities to be fully rooted in Christ, and Christ alone. I could be missing out on sweet moments and
precious memories with my children. I
could be missing out on opportunities to reach outward to those around me,
pointing them to the Savior I desire to follow, the Rock I cling to. On these days, in these forgetful moments, I
most definitely would be missing out on true peace.
With each new day come new mercies. This week has been different. We’ve crossed off far less on our
homeschooling curriculum timeline, but in trade, we’ve spent more time
together. Today we took the day completely
off of school and just let time be. We
made a point to enjoy the sunshine outside and the little things in our day; the
kids running to greet the mailman with a smile, letting the boys build a “booby
trap” with string in the backyard (what they’ll catch, one can only guess), running
to and from soccer practice joyfully (instead of groaning because it is taking
away from some read-aloud or catch-up Math time), moments to just enjoy doing
what makes us smile. I’ve found that this week there’s been more
peace in my heart. I’m grateful for all
the things we’ve crossed off our to-do-list, but I’m not bothered by the things
that we haven’t. My eyes are turned
upward, in thanksgiving, more than before.
I’m savoring even those littlest of moments.
We are not promised tomorrow. We are not promised tonight even. God has been more than gracious in His
reminding me of that fact. We don’t
often get a notice…a reminder there’s “just a little time left”. But
that is what our time here on Earth is.
Just a little time. (Why, you do not even know what
will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a
little while and then vanishes. James 4:14)
And if I am blessed enough to have my days numbered as many, it
still will surely blur by. I do not want
to wake up one day and realize that I missed out on opportunities to worship
wholly, to love rightly, to witness to others.
I do not want to feel the guilt of rushing through motherhood, skipping
past the little things because quite frankly I’m too busy to stop what’s on my
agenda for the day (ugh, how wicked and selfish that I would even cling to my agenda in the first place!). I do not want to be deceived by the world’s
view and waste any of the time that I have been given.
As a family, we will plant a tree in memory of this lost dog
that God placed in our family thirteen years ago; this loyal sidekick that God
has used now to remind me of what’s most important in my life. A seed has been planted in my heart. One that is telling me not to squander my
time, nor get so involved in everything else that I miss out on what He’s already
placed before me.
I’m being called and now I can’t just smile and nod. It’s about time I actually stop to smell the
flowers.
